Playing Catch Up

Sing, My people. Sing to the heavens so that I may hear you clearly! Ah, that sweet, sweet sound!

Tis' I, you know...God. As you can probably imagine, I've had My holy hands full. The earth is becoming more and more difficult to maintain. When things slip, they can slip in the most awful of ways. While that ridiculous book the bible claims I am everywhere and everything, that's only a half-truth. More on that later.

For now, I want to play catch-up. You've had questions in both the commments and in e-mail. I would like the opportunity to answer thy queries.

Firstly - As much as I would like to visit each and every blog you maintain, I'm having a hard enough time coming back to this blog to spread the Holiest of Words amongst thee. Please, take not offense if I'm not there instantly. Rest assured that I read each and every comment (and e-mail) and send forth blessings to you.

Now, onto the questions:

barbieluvsu8181 asked me some time ago to spite the spammers who plague our beautiful blogs. To these spammers, I say unto them: SPAMMERS! I SPITE THEE! OUT! GET THEE OUT!!! I really hope that shall send them packing. In the meantime, I may implement the word-verification feature.

The ever-charming Jennifer W.K. asks if I prefer traditional Latin or the plain English. Since I don't know how many of thee can readeth Latin, I would say keep your comments in the English vernacular. While I don't mind either, I think it would behoove the readers of God's Blog (the holiest of blogs) if it was in a language they too could understand. Stay gold, Jennifer. Stay gold forever.

My old nemesis Lucifer wondered if I could change the 10 commandments into just one. His suggestions was:

Thou shall use judgement against thy's actions, and be accountable for the consequences.

Admittedly, this isn't bad. But, if you've been reading My blog for a while, you'll know that the 10 Commandments is another piece of folklore created by those who wish to control you in My name. Again, My only wish for My people is this: Treat others how you want to be treated.

It's a simple concept, but hard for many to grasp. But he's right. They are running out of room in Hell. Goodness me.

calbethekiln asked why I speaketh in the olde style in 'thees' and 'thous' every so often. My only answer is this: When you've been around since the beginning of time, you tend to keep a bit of your accent. It's as hard to lose as a Midwestern accent, however not nearly as awful as thy followers in Boston. I mean, really. What is the deal with those people? Even I'm at a loss, there.

Also, he wanted to know (along with xo~IndyGirl~xo ) what the story was behind the platypus.

I happen to like them.


The Platypus:
Official Animal Mascot of God's Blog.

Petrow promised to send Me some more horrible church signs where people are speaking in My name. I'm still waiting, My son.

Orfeo, you're welcome for the weather I bestowed upon thee in Canberra 8.28.2005. I thought you would like that, My friend.

Dr. Convolution wonders what I think of promiscuous sex. Simple. I didn't give thee parts of pleasure only to let them dry up. However, if you wonder again how should you act, please refer to my ONE COMMANDMENT: Treat others how you want to be treated.

If your actions will cause harm to befall another, desist. Thy solution is simple.

And perhaps the toughest request of all comes from Ginger, who simply asks me to talk a bit about Hurricane Katrina. It isn't easy to talk about, but I shalt do My best.

The horrors that have happened in the southern United States are not things I am proud of. While in the long run great good can come from bad happenings, I can't expect anyone to understand My ultimate plan. It's not the type of thing I can dismiss with: 'Well, I was asleep at the wheel...sorry, folks.'

I know tragedies of this magnitude can cause many (affected or otherwise) to turn their backs to Me and wonder what sort of God would let something like this happen. That is entirely up to you. Remember that I do know what I'm doing and while suffering isn't something to take lightly, ultimately good will come of all of this.

You can see it happening already. You can see people who normally wouldn't think twice about helping a stranger extend his/her hand in friendship. Atrocities of this magnitude bring out the good in people and along with the hard times, great change comes forth. Change that was sorely needed amongst you, My people. It's terrible that something that causes so much hurt must bring it about, but in the long run, you'll see. All of this has been for the greater good.

I promise, thee.

That's all I have time for tonight, My people. Please remember that you can always come here for My inspirational word. Ask what you will of Me in the comments or if you prefer a more private conference with Me, e-mail God @ bigoldgod@yahoo.com

May the rains of heaven drench thee in My holy love.

Or something like that.

God out.