Holy Moses, It's Been A While

Glory be, my children.

I apologize for being such a rotten blogger as of late. I've definitely had my hands full up here with everything from two-headed babies to deciding what to do with Hunter Thompson, the gonzo new journalist who ended his life with a shotgun.

Suicide is such a tough call. While most feel as though taking your own life bequeaths thee with a one-way ticket to ol' Scratch's pad, I'm a bit more compassionate on the topic. Trust me, I know life isn't all sunshine and rainbows down there. There are times when it can become too much and you decide to cash out early.

Who am I to judge?

That was a rhetorical question.

But my biggest problem these days is with Jesus. I'm sure a few of you watched the Academy Awards last night. It wasn't a bad program. I was especially happy that it didn't last as long as they usually do. I enjoyed Christopher Rock's scathing opening monologue and found that every single one of my pics was spot on.

Jesus, however, was certain a different movie should've won a few awards. That's right, worshippers. My son was certain the film of his big beathing The Passion of the Christ was going to win at least an 'advancement in makeup' award.

No such luck. That honor went to Lemony Snicket's movie about unlucky children.

Ever since the movie was looked over for just about every award it was nominated for, Jesus has been pouting and smoking over near St. Andrew's place. He's been giving people dirty looks and sulking as though the Academy's decision was a direct insult to him.

Personally, I think it's good. After the way he's been acting, acting all holier than everyone, it's nice to see him knocked down a few pegs.

Oh, great. I just got word that Jesus is trying to start a fight with Ghandi. I've got to go and break this up.

More later, my children.

God out.