So There You Are
Dearly beloved,
People's church habits continue to amaze me, especially during the holidays. Whilst I know it isn't much fun to go and sit on an uncomfortable wooden bench (and in some variations of religon, kneel) for an hour, it actually makes me and the rest of the holies up here laugh.
Do you actually think that if you show up for services on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, I'm not going to notice that you haven't really gone any of the other days (except for Easter?).
Lest you forget, I am the divine light of creation. I know all. I see all. Also, I don't care if you show up for church or not.
Take a Sunday off. Take them all off. I honestly don't mind. If you believe in me, are a good person and don't murder too many people, I'm sure we can find room for you up here somewhere.
It's cool.
So many people tend to ask forgiveness for not going to church. It gets to the point where I just stop listening to that nonsense. There are bigger offences to answer to in my eyes. Not making it to a hot room filled with elderly people with fistfuls of rosaries isn't going to break the deal.
Besides, we were too busy up here partying and carrying on to really pay much attention to all the singing, praying and what-not. C'mon...we need a vacation too.
Don't be so selfish.
People's church habits continue to amaze me, especially during the holidays. Whilst I know it isn't much fun to go and sit on an uncomfortable wooden bench (and in some variations of religon, kneel) for an hour, it actually makes me and the rest of the holies up here laugh.
Do you actually think that if you show up for services on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, I'm not going to notice that you haven't really gone any of the other days (except for Easter?).
Lest you forget, I am the divine light of creation. I know all. I see all. Also, I don't care if you show up for church or not.
Take a Sunday off. Take them all off. I honestly don't mind. If you believe in me, are a good person and don't murder too many people, I'm sure we can find room for you up here somewhere.
It's cool.
So many people tend to ask forgiveness for not going to church. It gets to the point where I just stop listening to that nonsense. There are bigger offences to answer to in my eyes. Not making it to a hot room filled with elderly people with fistfuls of rosaries isn't going to break the deal.
Besides, we were too busy up here partying and carrying on to really pay much attention to all the singing, praying and what-not. C'mon...we need a vacation too.
Don't be so selfish.
posted by God at 8:32 AM
8 Comments:
Quick question. Do retards go to heaven or hell? Do they even understand the difference? I am not sure they understand the meaning of religion. Just wondering.
Funny you should ask. Firstly, I like to call them 'differently abled' or 'specifically challenged.' But sure, I think they understand what Heaven is. Why not? Thy will be done.
There. Done. They get it.
Dearest Kamin,
Did you know that the original title of the Bible was called: 'God: The Unauthorized Biography?' It's true. I never authorized any of those well-to-dos to write about me. Besides, I was busy creating the world and watching over everything in it. I didn't have time for interviews.
Here's an example: Supposedly, I said 'Let There Be Light' in Genesis of the Old Testament. Wrong. They misquoted me. I actually said: 'It's pretty dark in here. I should brighten the place up.'
While most revere the Bible more than the stories and people depicted in it, just remember...it's a collection of ideas, not gospel.
As much as I hate to pull the 'God' card on you, your tiny mortal mind can't comprehend something as complex and big as me. The Bible is a nice substitute, nothing more.
Kamin,
Seriously? You need to lighten up. I'm not as strict and as uptight as you would make me out to be. I'm beginning to think you worship a God other than Me and, you know, that's fine.
Thy god probably isn't as laid back as me, so if you ever want to come back to a fear-free, non-judgemental God, drop me a prayer some time.
You know what? You're right! We do not serve you! We serve THE Almighty God! The One that DID inspire the Bible, the One that wouldn't be "too busy" to help the tsunami victims, the One that doesn't contradict Himself...We serve the Right and True God, who is actually pleased when His followers ask Him for help and love Him with all their hearts, and, best of all, He DOESN'T mock us like human beings would in their weakness.
I hope one day you will be able to experience our God the way we have, and will realize that He is an awesome God, and He loves you more than you could ever imagine. God bless, and I hope you have a wonderful life because, if something doesn't change, then you may not have anything after. You're in my prayers, whoever you are.
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Kristi, Kristi, Kristi
Do you see how you've contradicted yourself? You claim that 'your' God loves all in a manner that no one could possibly imagine, yet you seem to think that he is going to punish those that don't see things the way you do.
'...if something doesn't change, then you may not have something after.'
This, my child, does not make sense to me.
What also eludes me is that you feel as though I am mocking my followers. Not so. Being the supreme power and creator of all is a taxing job and sometimes I like to let off some steam.
It's people who take everything so seriously and are 'God Fearing' that turn so many away from the church and such. It's too bad really.
Let there be light, and while you're at it: lighten up.
I have spoken.
You are so right. As if you didn't know!
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